A Manager’s Guide to Navigating an Employee’s Cancer Diagnosis
By Lisa Lefebvre
I am two-time cancer “endure-er” and the Founder/CEO of Mend Together. I created Mend Together to help people with cancer get the support I didn’t have when I went through cancer. And, as importantly, to help their friends, family, and coworkers learn what to say, do, and give. This guide is based on my experiences working during cancer, and I hope these tips are helpful to you and your team.
Chances are, you know someone who has been diagnosed with cancer, but what do you do when one of your direct reports is diagnosed? What do you say? What do you do? What should you not say and do?
How you and your company treat this person during (and after) their treatments will impact not only their emotional well-being, physical health outcomes, and quality of life— but also their perceptions of you and your organization. You can make a positive, meaningful difference in this person’s life; I am here to help show you how.
Why Supporting Your Direct Report Matters
- It can improve productivity. Your employee’s life is hard right now. The more you can support them in and outside of work, the more they can be present in their job. This is important because many employees want to work during treatments if they are physically able. Most need the income, and work is a welcome distraction to treatments and the anxiety cancer induces. Work can also provide purpose during an unsettling time.
- It can have a lasting effect on loyalty. An employee who knows they are valued and supported during one of the hardest challenges of their life will want to stay and support the organization.
- It has a positive effect on your team. Seeing your actions in the face of one employee’s illness shows everyone who works for you that the company values them and their health needs will be important, too.
- It can reduce their fear of being fired. Your direct report may think they will lose their job if they admit to struggling with their diagnosis or treatments. Reassure them that you have their back and that, by law, they cannot be fired due to their diagnosis.
Not Everyone Who has Cancer is the Same
Here are some things to consider based on your direct report’s demographics:
- Older people in your workplace may have less personal support, as often close friends or family members in their lives have already passed. They may also need more physical help due to their age. If that is the case, it is imperative to ensure they have adequate support at home. (More on this to come.)
- Younger people on your team may feel less prepared and uncertain about their diagnosis and the possibility of a shortened future. As such, they may have stronger emotional reactions to their diagnosis. On a positive note, younger people are often more open to offers of help.
- Men tend to be less expressive of their needs than women, and they are less likely to share when they need support. Men may feel significantly diminished if they accept help.
- Those with marginalized identities, such as people of color (POC) or LGBTQ+, often face inadequacies and biases in healthcare that impact their treatment. They may need more help accessing high-quality care.
- Those living in rural communities also face challenges in accessing high-quality healthcare and may need additional support.
Was your direct report diagnosed with Stage IV cancer? Stage IV means that the cancer of the original tumor site has metastasized to other areas of the body such as the brain, blood, bones, or other organs.
While years ago, this diagnosis used to be considered terminal, advanced treatment can now mean that an employee with Stage IV cancer could live for a very long time, or the disease may even be reversed. In either case, remember to be extra sensitive and accommodating to the employee and their family.
How to Handle Privacy in the Workplace
It’s up to your employee to decide who they want to tell about their cancer diagnosis. Reassure them that by law, their diagnosis is private.
As we mentioned earlier, having emotional support during the cancer journey has many health benefits and can improve one’s quality of life. Consider encouraging your employee to share their diagnosis with others so your team can be as supportive as possible.
If your employee chooses to keep their diagnosis private, but other team members comment on their performance, attendance, or appearance, provide a vague answer. Try something like, “Antoine is dealing with a personal issue right now, and it may continue for a while. We need to be supportive until this gets sorted out.”
Words Matter
Knowing what to say to someone with cancer doesn’t have to be complicated. The main consideration is showing empathy and speaking from the heart. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Try this:
- “I am not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care.” Acknowledge your employee. Communicate that you understand how intense and overwhelming the diagnosis can be.
- “Tell me what would be most helpful right now.” Before acting, ask what they want. Offer to work together to choose what they do or do not want.
- “Is it okay if I give you some support and resources?” Emphasize how your company can help, including resources from HR that may be useful. If they want to take matters into their own hands, encourage them to seek professional help. You can kindly and gently acknowledge how difficult their scenario can be.
Avoid this:
- “When will you be back full steam?” Do not rush them back to the office. Questions like, “How will your work get done?” shows your employee that you care more about work than their well-being. Put their needs first, always.
- “I am sure you will be okay.” Phrases like this may feel neutral, but they can come off as tone-deaf and make light of their condition. Your employee may not be okay.
- “Let me know if you need anything” and other open-ended suggestions. Be specific. Phrases like these are not helpful to an employee already overwhelmed by decision-making.
- “You look like you’ve lost weight.” Don’t comment on their appearance. Good or bad, you and your team should refrain from discussing their changing looks with anyone.
Support their emotional well-being
Think about work from their perspective. Chances are, your employee feels exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious, and unsure of the future. Family responsibilities may accentuate these feelings. Vocalizing concerns can be tough, so being the first to offer emotional support is key.
Try this:
- Check-in regularly. Whether weekly or bi-monthly, put a check-in on your calendar. Ask, “how are your spirits?” versus “how are you?” as an opener. “How are you?” can be hard to answer during cancer. You can slow down the pace of check-ins after treatments end, but know that the impact of cancer on people’s lives can linger on for a year or much more.
- Give them a visual reminder of team support. A nice gift to place on their desk serves as a physical reminder that you and your team are here for them, and they can turn to all of you they need to talk or need help with work responsibilities.
- Refer your employee to additional resources when possible. Mend Together offers a digital cancer support kit that introduces employees to cancer organizations’ free resources.
Avoid this:
- Ignore their situation. The last thing you want them to feel is invisible.
- Smother them with concern. It is better to talk less and listen more. Take their lead. “Bear witness” to their struggles rather than trying to provide answers or solutions.
- Mention their condition in a team setting (unless given express permission to do so). Health is a private matter, and HIPPA protects medical information.
Support their physical well-being
Treatment can affect an employee’s ability to work. Chemotherapy is draining. People can feel nauseous, exhausted, and may just want to pull the covers up over their heads. There is no harm in politely asking what they feel up to doing. This encourages employees to self-report while reminding them that it is okay to communicate their needs.
Communicate with empathy at all times, and do not criticize your employee for not meeting the demands of the job. If your employee says they’re too sick to do something, believe them.
Try this:
- Adjust their hours. Some people might want to start the workday earlier when they have the energy to show up. Others might want to push their workdays later to get acclimated to their day.
- Allow them to work from home when possible. Taking the commute out of their workday can give them back the time and energy they need to do the work at hand.
- Be sensitive to fatigue, especially if their job is physical. Provide them with extra break time to rest and recover.
- Help them find a team member to take over a shift. While some side effects are predictable, others are not. Helping organize coverage is a big gift when energy is low.
Avoid this:
- Question their needs. Your direct report will likely already put in more effort than they should. People want to put on their best game face. When they say they can’t do something, they can’t.
- Establish firm deadlines. Be flexible. Keeping deliverable dates a little looser than usual can help the healing.
- Make them come to work. If they can do their job remotely, allow them to work from home for as long as they need.
If your employee can no longer meet the demands of the job, you should hold their position until they are well enough to return. HR can help your employee access short-term disability. They may also want to draw from their personal insurance policies, or if they belong to a union, that organization may offer additional support.
Support their social well-being
It’s important that cancer patients stay connected to others socially during and after treatments. Staying in contact with others improves treatment outcomes and reduces hospitalizations. The importance of regular social interaction cannot be overstated during a cancer diagnosis.
Rally around your employee virtually or in-person by:
- Visiting alone or in pairs; larger groups can be overwhelming
- Hosting a virtual “support party”
- Sharing words of encouragement on their Mend Together Community Journal
Through social support, you can bring back joy without ignoring the reality of your employee’s situation. The focus here is to help the employee enjoy their life during the setback of surgery or treatments.
Support their financial well-being
Cancer is a significant financial setback for most people, regardless of their income. The average patient incurs $16,400 of unexpected out-of-pocket expenses, a devastating blow when the average individual’s income in the U.S. is $32,400. Out-of-pocket expenses can skyrocket depending on the course and length of treatment.
Financial contributions are one of the easiest ways your team can make a difference. Of course, some businesses, like banks, are prohibited from distributing company emails asking for donations and contributions. However, asking for financial support is okay outside of company communications.
What do to if you think you can’t provide adequate support
If you think you wouldn’t be good at supporting someone with cancer after reading all of this, believe your intuition. Recruit a trusted colleague of the direct report or someone in HR to be your proxy.
Let your direct report know about your plan. Say, “Hey, I am very sorry you were diagnosed with cancer. I don’t feel equipped to say and do the right things right now, and I don’t want to do any harm. I am committed to supporting you all the way, and I will find someone who can do a better job at this than me. Together, we will make sure our team is there for you.”
In summary: show up
When your direct report discloses their cancer diagnosis, set an action plan into place as soon as you can. With empathy and kindness, share resources and discuss their privacy and ideas. Encourage them to seek out HR. Your company’s HR team works hard to provide benefits for employees; they will have the most knowledge about what programs your company offers.
Once your employee’s treatment plan is set, you can discuss the workload they can carry and any accommodations that will make life easier for them.
As they undergo surgery and treatment, schedule check-ins so there’s a dedicated time for your employee to express their needs. Keep up these check-ins after treatment ends. Healing after treatments can often be as hard as the treatment itself. I recommend inputting an appointment in your calendar three, six, and nine months after treatments end.
Thank you for reading this material. I hope this guide gives you the confidence to know where to start a conversation with your teammate. Showing up in helpful and productive ways will positively impact your employee’s quality of life.